Heart Without A Beat
by estelgreenleaf
Summary: Why must this have happened? SPOILERS SLASH


**Disclaimer: **Don't own Torchwood or the song "Angel."

**A/N:** I promised myself I would never write a songfic, but this one just called out to me. I don't know why, it just did. Forgive me for anything wrong in this story, for I haven't seen the fatal episode. **THIS HAS SPOILERS!** I don't want to ruin the series for any of you as it was ruined for me. I was sobbing the entire time I was writing this because the song hits me very deeply and I'm having a rough patch in life right now. I really want to be Homecoming Princess, but I know my friend will win because she's gorgeous and she has everything going for her, my dads out of work, my date to the dance is very hard to talk to anymore, even though we've been friends for eight years, and my life feels very out of my hands. So, once again, sorry if this is bad.

**Heart Without A Beat**

_Spend all your time waiting_  
><em>For that second chance<em>  
><em>For a break that would make it okay<em>  
><em>There's always some reason<em>  
><em>To feel not good enough<em>  
><em>And it's hard at the end of the day<em>

Jack sat at his desk, head in hands. The tears slipped down his face; the great captain had broken. He was gone, his Ianto was gone. Not coming back. The box, so small on the floor where he had dropped it, stared up at him. His composure completely left him and he sobbed like a child, being informed its mother had died.

_I need some distraction_  
><em>Oh beautiful release<em>  
><em>Memories seep from my veins<em>  
><em>Let me be empty<em>  
><em>Oh and weightless and maybe<em>  
><em>I'll find some peace tonight<em>

The world blurred, and left, as if someone had taken a pencil and erased it all. Nothing mattered anymore.

_In the arms of the angel_  
><em>Fly away from here<em>  
><em>From this dark cold hotel room<em>  
><em>And the endlessness that you fear<em>

_You are pulled from the wreckage_  
><em>Of your silent reverie<em>  
><em>You're in the arms of the angel<em>  
><em>May you find some comfort here<em>

He walked over to the small case and lie down next to it. He opened it with difficulty, because of the tears blocking his eyesight. Inside sat a simple silver band with a cut around the center. Inside was transcribed one word, "Forever." Jack had planned on asking Ianto to marry him that night. To him, Ianto was held up on a pedestal above all others, a shining light in an age of darkness; someone he wanted to be with until the day he died. So, in other words, forever.

_So tired of the straight line_  
><em>And everywhere you turn<em>  
><em>There's vultures and thieves at your back<em>  
><em>The storm keeps on twisting<em>  
><em>Keep on building the lies<em>  
><em>That you make up for all that you lack<em>

He had the strongest love for the man as love could get. And now it was lost. Gone. What would he do now? He had finally found a person he couldn't live without and now he was gone. He couldn't go on without him, and Jack couldn't join them. The problem with being immortal: the people you love dying all around you while you live on, each death haunting you every day.

_It don't make no difference_  
><em>Escaping one last time<em>  
><em>It's easier to believe<em>  
><em>In this sweet madness<em>  
><em>Oh this glorious sadness<em>  
><em>That brings me to my knees<em>

Jack would never feel Ianto's soothing warmth, his soft touch, or his calming presence again. When Ianto was around, nothing mattered, because everyone knew he would protect them until the very end, even if his own life depended on it. It didn't matter what was happening around you, because it would all turn out alright.

_In the arms of the angel_  
><em>Fly away from here<em>  
><em>From this dark cold hotel room<em>  
><em>And the endlessness that you fear<em>

He had such a quiet personality, only speaking up when necessary, just being in the background. Jack's mind told him that this couldn't be real, something was playing with his mind, or he was dreaming, but deep in his heart he knew it was true. He didn't want to grasp that thought, he just wanted to leave it hanging in half-existence.

_You are pulled from the wreckage_  
><em>Of your silent reverie<em>  
><em>You're in the arms of the angel<em>  
><em>May you find some comfort here<em>

He lie on the floor with the engagement ring for hours, until finally, sleep claimed him. That's where Gwen found him later, sleeping restlessly, clutching the velvet box in his hands.

_You're in the arms of the angel_  
><em>May you find some comfort here.<em>

**A/N: **Please review.


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